I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize