she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
