check it out our google latitudes are spooning
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
