Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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