Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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