Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
