Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sext me about skeletons
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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