why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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