Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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