Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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