They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize