I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
