why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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