I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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