she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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