Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
