I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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