apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
