i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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