big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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