There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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