2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
