Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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