Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i dont even know how to be here
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
