Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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