i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
