I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
