Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
