Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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