He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
