Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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