Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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