No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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