its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
