I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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