Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Less talking, more tequila
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
