4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize