just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
