As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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