Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My vagina just recognized that song.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
