so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
