margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
