So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
