Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
