just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
As shirtless as possible
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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