There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
sex in a hospital.. check
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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