we're blogging at a bar
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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