I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
