Say something about gay babies.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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