i just had sex bonerless
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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