i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
