my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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