Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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