Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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