Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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