It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
