He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
