YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
barbara walters just said penis...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
