try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
