the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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