You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
