i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
