Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
