I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We don't watch enough power rangers
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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