It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
