i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize