Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
