O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
