you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize