dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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