Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
