Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
