College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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