Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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