Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
