Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
