You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
