it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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